Almost Go Time!!!!

Wednsday morning I leave for China to go get our Alex!!!! I am so excited!  We have all been sick, and Scott and I still are not better. The kids seem to be in the mend thankfully. I really pray I feel better before Wednsday. 

I have packed mostly everything.  Half of one suitcase is stuff for the foster home where Alex is living. The other half is meds and snacks!! Clothes will fit in there somewhere and of course I am bringing Alex  a backpack and a few things. 

VPN's have been downloaded, so I should be able to blog and update on FB! 

Well I am going to try to get some rest- I have to get over this illness! I have taken everything under the sun including raw garlic!  Prayers appreciated and I will post from the flip side next weekend!!!!

Let's chat about HIV - Part 1

HIV. It used to be a scary, devastating diagnosis. Things have changed for the better in the past 10 years, and new research is still going on. I want to answer some questions that I have been asked. This was sparked by the recent article on the No Hands But Ours Blog. A dad of HIV positive adopted twins wrote a great post. Here is the link: http://www.nohandsbutours.com/2014/03/19/six-pills-a-day-a-cure-for-my-ignorance-regarding-hiv/

First let's re-cover the basics. HIV is a virus that attacks the body's CD4 cells. The CD4 cells help with immunity and fighting off infections. HIV lowers the number of CD4 cells-which is why the CD4 count is one of the labs monitored. If the CD4 count is too low, a person with HIV can catch other infections easier. It is these infections that actually caused so many with  HIV/Aids to die. The difference between HIV and Aids is the CD4 count. In people without HIV or people with well-managed HIV the CD4 count range is 500 to 1600. AiDS is diagnosed when that level drops below 200. 

Now HIV is also monitored by viral load. The actual number of HIV viruses are counted in a sample of blood. The viral load can be very high - in the hundreds of thousands or what is considered "undetectable." Undetectable is the goal of HIV treatment. Undetectable means that there are so few viruses present that they cannot be counted. Usually this is less than 50-70 viruses present.  Having an undetectable viral load means there is less chance of catching an infection.  Having an undetectable viral load also means it is basically impossible to give it to someone else. 

I gathered some interesting statistics about HIV. There are about 3.2 million kids living with HIV worldwide (under age 15).  700 are newly infected daily. HIV is NOT present in urine, feces, snot, saliva, sweat, tears, or vomit unless there is also blood present. 

There has NEVER been a case of accidental transmission in a normal household setting. 

So let's get to the questions people have about HIV.  I will answer these questions in this post, and I will work on a part 2 post- so please let me know of other questions that come up. What other info would you like to know? 

1. If my kid who has an open cut, is playing with a friend that has HIV who gets hurt and bleeds, should I worry?  Well basically- no.  Most kids with HIV here in the US are under treatment and have undetectable viral loads. HIV also cannot live outside of the body. When it hits air it dies. So the chance of a live virus getting into the HIV negative kiddo's open cut is very low. There has NEVER been a case of the virus spreading this way. 

2. Can HIV be spread by casual contact? Nope!  HIV is only spread in 3 ways. Sex with a partner with a high Viral load, sharing needles, and mother to child during childbirth and/or breast feeding. And there are actually ways a person could do all three activities without spreading the virus!! Now those people who know that they will be or were recently exposed to a HIV positive person with a high viral load can take the antiviral meds to prevent the negative person from catching it. I actually deal with this a lot. I work in employee health at a hospital, and we treat needle stick injuries. When the source's HIV status is not known, we give antiviral meds to the employee. Not one has ever caught HIV if they take the meds. These meds are also given to newborns if their mom is HIV positive. So if you have a HIV positive daughter, she can give birth and her kiddo will be HIV negative if given the meds. She cannot breast feed though. (Well at least not now- new research is always being done).

3. If my kid has HIV who do I have to tell? No one. Of course you will want to tell your docs and dentist. There is no obligation to tell family, friends, the school, church, etc. 

4. What do I do if a HIV positive kiddo gets hurt while under my care? The same you would for your own kid. Clean up the blood (using gloves or some sort of barrier- like some paper towels) and apply band aids and kisses. 

5. Can people stop responding to the meds? Are they expensive? It is possible but there are choices in the meds. Working closely with the doc decreases this possibility. The meds can be expensive but there are many pharmaceutical companies or government programs that help with cost and insurance pays part. Many pay between 35 and 150 dollars per month for the meds. 

6. How is HIV treatment different in China? They use the same meds and usually the kiddos are on meds and have very low viral loads when they are adopted. Not everyone in China has access to meds, just like the access to general medical care is limited. There is a huge stigma in China- it is falsely believed that HIV can be spread through casual contact. If a person is found to be HIV positive they basically are shunned. It is very sad. My favorite charity works with HIV there and recently posted a story of a boy who was put on isolation in the hospital because of a nosebleed. There are organizations working hard to educate in China. 

7.Can a kiddo with HIV get married and have biological kids? Yep!!! In a study of 1140 couples where one partner had HIV with a viral load of less than 200 and the other did not have HIV there were NO cases of transmission. None. Here is a chart summarizing the findings. Source:

Www.thestigmaproject.org

Tickets have been purchased!!!!!

Yay!!! Travel dates have been confirmed and tickets were purchased. 

We will head to China 4/9 (wed am) and arrive in Chengdu Thursday night.  We are staying with friends for 2 nights to get acclimated to the time change, and they are putting us up for free. You can't beat free!!! We will head to Nanning (where Alex is) Saturday evening to prepare for Monday Gotcha Day!!!

Our consulate appointment is 4/24 in Guangzhou and we head back home Sunday 4/27. We leave 10 am and will arrive to the airport home at 10 PM (gotta love the time change on the way back lol!!) we could have left Saturday, but the flights were limited and a lot more expensive. So it is what it is. I will miss my kiddos here, but I cannot wait to get Alex. We will be in China for Easter which will be different. 

I am exhausted so it will be a short post. I have been working a bunch and stayed up late last night to get the flight stuff straightened out. 

In the final countdown!

On Tuesday or final paperwork will be sent to Beijing and we wait for them to invite us to travel. That is called the TA. Then we hop on a plane and go get our boy!!!!!

The family that adopted Alex's foster sister were able to see him! They said he knows we are coming and he is very excited. They got us some pics too. 

We will not know exact travel dates until the TA arrives. I am packing and everything already. I am ready to get on the plane tomorrow!!!! 

Here is a pic of Alex that Ally Kate's family took for us. 

Come on TA!!!!!!!!!!!

"I didn't do enough"

When I was in middle school a movie came out that has stuck with me. It was a movie based on a true story of a man who saved over a thousand Jews during the Holocaust.  There is a scene from the movie that I think about often. Here it is:

1. Oskar Schindler: I could have got more. I could have got more, I don't know. If I just...I could have got more.
2. Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are 1,100 people who are alive because of you. Look at them.
3. Oskar Schindler: If I had made more money. I threw away so much money. [laughs, then gets teary-eyed] You have no idea. If I just...
4. Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of you.
5. Oskar Schindler: I didn't do enough.
6. Itzhak Stern: You did so much.
7. Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people. This pin...two people. This is gold. Two people. He would have given me two more, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern, for this. [starts crying] I could have got one more person, and I didn't! I -- I -- I -- I didn't!

This sums up where how I feel about the fatherless. Now I do not think adoption is for everyone and I think there are very real ways to help the fatherless without adoption. 

But I want to focus on Orphans in China because that is what I know. Right now there are hundreds of thousands of orphans in China. 10 years ago they were mostly healthy girls. Well that has changed. Now most have medical needs.  Most people in China cannot afford the life-saving medical care that their kiddos require.  There is no welfare or free medical care there. If you do not have insurance (which most do not) you have to pay cash up front. Many of the surgeries are the equivalent of 1-2 years salary.

Imagine facing the reality of watching your child die or giving them up and not knowing what happens. Child abondonment is illegal in China. That is a choice no parent ever should have to face. We live in an evil world. 

This is how the child usually enters the orphanage. They are found at a train station, at a hospital, at a park, inside a sewer pipe, outside an orphanage, under a tree, on a sidewalk, etc. They are taken to the nearby orphanage. This can happen at any age. Children are found in China from right after birth to 10, 11, 12 years old. Some come with a note with their birthdate. Others are assigned a birthdate based on the best guess about their age. They are usually evaluated by a doctor, as most children found now have some sort of medical need. Then begins orphanage life, or foster home life. 

These are a few pictures of the infant sleeping rooms in several orphanages. Lots of beds.

 

This picture is of an orphanage and was taken by a family we traveled with for Claire. Their new son is in the striped shirt, and this is where he lived before his family got him. Many of the orphanages now can be considered nice. Many of the orphanages that are not as nice do not allow pictures.  The mama in this picture volunteers at an orphanage where there are not enough caregivers to even hold the babies for their feedings. 

This picture was taken at a foster home in Claire's hometown. Yes, that baby sleeps in that crib, most likely with another baby. They are bundled because there is no heat in the foster home. Looks sparse, huh? This is actually one of the nicer foster homes in Claire's hometown. The not nice ones have stories of non-walking babies with broken legs, and cigarette burns, and withholding food.Kids have scars from being tied to beds and potties, and from rodent bites. I am not doing enough if innocent babies are being abused.

This is a playground at one of the orphanages visited by someone in our travel group. Notice how it is used as a parking lot- no children are playing on it.

Another reality in many of the orphanages- keeping heads shaved. This prevents lice. Yes, lice is a concern, and lice treatment is on the packing list of things our agency suggest we bring. That and meds for scabies. 

 

These are pictures from Claire's foster home in Shanghai, which was a wonderful place. It is still an institution though. 

 

Think love and a family does not really matter? This is David. He is HIV positive and was not allowed to interact really with anyone in his orphanage. He told volunteers that his life was worthless. He is 11 years old. A charity organization fought for months to allow him to be moved to a foster family.  In China, the orphanage director holds legal custody of a child and makes the decision about if they are eligible for adoption, for school, for foster and camp programs, and even for medical care.

Here is David just a few weeks after being moved to a foster family. Love makes a difference. The orphanage director saw this change and has agreed to prepare his file for adoption! 

These pictures are of kids who are available right now for adoption. Kids who are not adopted from China end up most of the time on the streets as beggars or criminals or prostitutes. A very few will be allowed to attend trade school. Being an orphan in China is also viewed as unlucky, so getting hired is almost impossible. Keeping it a secret is impossible. In China, once a child is 14 they are no longer available for international adoption.

As long as there are children without someone to love and care for them, I feel like Oskar Shindler. I didn't do enough. I do not want to feel this way at the end of my life.

A Year!!!!!!

Sweet Claire has been with us a year.

Here are some pics over the past year to re-cap:)

NY vs GA

Things we love about NY:

The snow!!!!

Stewart's chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream. 

Lots more farmer options. Nothing growing now but I already have a local egg source! 

The apples!! 

No bugs!!!!! Well there are ticks. 

No one has honked at me for driving slow in the snow. Of course I still have my GA tags on the van. 

Rachel Ray is better than Paula Deen (Rachel is from the Albany area). 

Things we miss about GA:

Family

Friends

Good Mexican and Asian food. 

How small Savannah really is and how there is really only 2 degrees of separation in Savannah. 

Things that are weird about NY:

I can go grocery shopping then run other errands without worrying about my frozen goods. In GA you almost need a cooler in the summer to make it 10 min home. 

There is a dunkin donuts on every corner. Seriously! We live 12 min from "town" yet only 5 from a DD. 

Upstate NY is pretty much anywhere that is not NYC. So we live in Upstate NY. 

Everyone thinks we are from Atlanta. No matter how many times we say Savannah. 

There are 2 Cracker Barrels here and several BBQ places. (Carolina and Memphis style can both be found!) 

We all own snow boots and snow pants. Very weird. 

45 degrees is now warm!!