"I didn't do enough"

When I was in middle school a movie came out that has stuck with me. It was a movie based on a true story of a man who saved over a thousand Jews during the Holocaust.  There is a scene from the movie that I think about often. Here it is:

1. Oskar Schindler: I could have got more. I could have got more, I don't know. If I just...I could have got more.
2. Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are 1,100 people who are alive because of you. Look at them.
3. Oskar Schindler: If I had made more money. I threw away so much money. [laughs, then gets teary-eyed] You have no idea. If I just...
4. Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of you.
5. Oskar Schindler: I didn't do enough.
6. Itzhak Stern: You did so much.
7. Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people. This pin...two people. This is gold. Two people. He would have given me two more, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern, for this. [starts crying] I could have got one more person, and I didn't! I -- I -- I -- I didn't!

This sums up where how I feel about the fatherless. Now I do not think adoption is for everyone and I think there are very real ways to help the fatherless without adoption. 

But I want to focus on Orphans in China because that is what I know. Right now there are hundreds of thousands of orphans in China. 10 years ago they were mostly healthy girls. Well that has changed. Now most have medical needs.  Most people in China cannot afford the life-saving medical care that their kiddos require.  There is no welfare or free medical care there. If you do not have insurance (which most do not) you have to pay cash up front. Many of the surgeries are the equivalent of 1-2 years salary.

Imagine facing the reality of watching your child die or giving them up and not knowing what happens. Child abondonment is illegal in China. That is a choice no parent ever should have to face. We live in an evil world. 

This is how the child usually enters the orphanage. They are found at a train station, at a hospital, at a park, inside a sewer pipe, outside an orphanage, under a tree, on a sidewalk, etc. They are taken to the nearby orphanage. This can happen at any age. Children are found in China from right after birth to 10, 11, 12 years old. Some come with a note with their birthdate. Others are assigned a birthdate based on the best guess about their age. They are usually evaluated by a doctor, as most children found now have some sort of medical need. Then begins orphanage life, or foster home life. 

These are a few pictures of the infant sleeping rooms in several orphanages. Lots of beds.

 

This picture is of an orphanage and was taken by a family we traveled with for Claire. Their new son is in the striped shirt, and this is where he lived before his family got him. Many of the orphanages now can be considered nice. Many of the orphanages that are not as nice do not allow pictures.  The mama in this picture volunteers at an orphanage where there are not enough caregivers to even hold the babies for their feedings. 

This picture was taken at a foster home in Claire's hometown. Yes, that baby sleeps in that crib, most likely with another baby. They are bundled because there is no heat in the foster home. Looks sparse, huh? This is actually one of the nicer foster homes in Claire's hometown. The not nice ones have stories of non-walking babies with broken legs, and cigarette burns, and withholding food.Kids have scars from being tied to beds and potties, and from rodent bites. I am not doing enough if innocent babies are being abused.

This is a playground at one of the orphanages visited by someone in our travel group. Notice how it is used as a parking lot- no children are playing on it.

Another reality in many of the orphanages- keeping heads shaved. This prevents lice. Yes, lice is a concern, and lice treatment is on the packing list of things our agency suggest we bring. That and meds for scabies. 

 

These are pictures from Claire's foster home in Shanghai, which was a wonderful place. It is still an institution though. 

 

Think love and a family does not really matter? This is David. He is HIV positive and was not allowed to interact really with anyone in his orphanage. He told volunteers that his life was worthless. He is 11 years old. A charity organization fought for months to allow him to be moved to a foster family.  In China, the orphanage director holds legal custody of a child and makes the decision about if they are eligible for adoption, for school, for foster and camp programs, and even for medical care.

Here is David just a few weeks after being moved to a foster family. Love makes a difference. The orphanage director saw this change and has agreed to prepare his file for adoption! 

These pictures are of kids who are available right now for adoption. Kids who are not adopted from China end up most of the time on the streets as beggars or criminals or prostitutes. A very few will be allowed to attend trade school. Being an orphan in China is also viewed as unlucky, so getting hired is almost impossible. Keeping it a secret is impossible. In China, once a child is 14 they are no longer available for international adoption.

As long as there are children without someone to love and care for them, I feel like Oskar Shindler. I didn't do enough. I do not want to feel this way at the end of my life.