I was sitting in our wonderful church today, listening to the sermon (how great it is to have older kids- you can actually listen to the sermon!), and the pastor said this "falling in love is risky and dangerous." Love is risky and dangerous, particularly if your heart has been broken.
I think we all can remember a time when we had our hearts broken, and we were reluctant to love again. Some recover quickly. Some are ready to leap into love again after time has healed some of the scarring. Some never get over that hurt, and build up walls to keep love out and prevent that anguish of a broken heart.
This immediately made me think of adoption. Let's be honest. Most things make me think of adoption.
Imagine that you are a baby or child, and the very people who are supposed to love you and care for you forever break your heart. Even if they do so because they love you, it still hurts. How long would it take you to trust your new parents? How long would it take you to love them? What if your heart was broken multiple times by multiple caregivers? What if you never get the chance to love parents again, and have to remain without?
It is so very hard to fall in love again after a life-altering heartbreak.
Noah and Aiden do not have a huge heartbreak in their pasts like Alex and Claire do. They are secure in their love, and do not yet know that love is risky and dangerous. Oh the joy of being innocent.
Our sweet Alex has almost been home with us for 2 years. It seems like he has been with us forever, and like it has been since yesterday all at the same time. This boy, who was so brave to come so willingly to us who were strangers to him, is taking the chance to love again. He did not know us. He had to have been scared of the language difference, the move around the world, of leaving everything he knew. Yet he takes the dangerous risk, and loves again.
Our feisty Claire, who has been home with us for 3 years, needs constant affirmation that we are forever. She does not like not being with us. She will stay near us at gatherings rather than play with the other kids. She chooses to go to big church with us instead of Sunday School so she can be close. This girl, who has also taken the dangerous risk to love again, now hangs on to it for dear life.
The pastor also said that falling in love changes who we are. Oh, how this is true. Falling in love with Jesus has shaped my life- oh what a risky dangerous love that has turned out to be! Falling in love with Scott has made and makes me a better person as we grow and travel through life together. Falling in love with my kids is impossible to put into words- it has changed me too.
Risky, dangerous love shapes who we are.
The pastor ended by quoting Jesus when He said "Do you love me?" Here is the whole passage from John 21:15:
15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.
Feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep He commands.
How better to do this than to love (which is a verb!) with a love that is risky and dangerous?
How better to do this than to love someone who seems unlovable- maybe your homeless neighbor or the grumpy coworker who actually has a lot going on?
How better to do this than to love with no expectation of love in return?
How better to do this than to look into the eyes of a foster child and say I will stand in the gap and love you now?
How better to do this than to look into the eyes of a child with no parents, and say I will love you, no matter what, forever and for always?
Risky Dangerous Love- that first step is scary, but the results never disappoint.
